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Research tells us a big part of feeling purposeful is by the support we get from the community around us. The people in your life use their strengths to help you in different ways — identify who you can go to for different types of support.
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Think about the people who support you in your day-to-day life. They all have different superpowers. Take a piece of paper and jot down a list of a few people in your life that you feel comfortable going to for help. They might be people you have gone to before for help or people who you want to ask for more support from.
Time to build your team. Add someone you can go to for each different kind of support. Remember that sometimes one person can give multiple kinds of support.
the listener
Someone who knows the topic well
the cheerleader
Who encourages your ideas and boosts your confidence?
the catalyst
Who gets you fired up to take action?
the provoker
Who challenges your beliefs and pushes your thinking?
the brainstormerWho helps you come up with new ideas and solve problems?
the caregiverWho reminds you to take care of yourself?
add your own!Add anyone else you would want on your team.
Now that you have built your team, consider an obstacle or a setback in a goal you are trying to achieve. Who might you go to first for help in this situation? Check out these tips for asking for support, then reach out to that person.
Come back to this anytime you find yourself needing extra input, advice, or encouragement.
Feelings like fear, pride, or guilt can sometimes stand in the way of us asking for help. Acknowledge any barriers you might be facing and then reaffirm that you are deserving of support in your life.
Ask for what you need directly and share why you’re reaching out to this person for help. For example, “I need to talk about a problem I’m having; I need someone to listen. You’re such a good listener. Do you have ten minutes?”
Thank people for their time and care. Try to tell them exactly what they did that was so helpful to you and why. This will let them know what you appreciate about them and deepen your relationship.
Are there certain types of support you could use more of right now? You can always add to your team. Notice what kinds of support you need — who might be good at providing it? Do you know them already? How could you get to know them better? If you don’t know them, how could you get connected?
Asking for support can feel daunting, but it gets easier with practice. Prepare yourself by getting clear on what you’re asking for, why you chose this specific person to help you, and what this support will allow you to do that you couldn’t before. You can use this process for big or small asks!
Support goes both ways. Just as the people in your life help you in different ways, you help them in your own way. Ask yourself what kind of support you have offered others in the past — what role do you play on other people’s teams? Is there a different role you want to play?
